Joys of Aging

Getting fun is old. Actually, getting old is fun.

Not really. Trusty old metabolism slowing down? Check. Grey hair? Check. Bear-like pelt growing on every inch of skin? Check. Forgetting what you...

Part of that joy is also forgetting that you aren't 18 anymore. Can't just take off and lift a ton of weight, jump high and run as far.

That last part is what got me: run as far. See, I was a long distance runner in high school. Yep. 4 years of Cross Country and 3 years of track. Even got an MVP trophy to prove it. Seriously, it's still in my office at work. I even ran 26 miles at one time. It wasn't a marathon but my intense stupidity after a bad track practice.

ahhh. To be young and stupid. No seriously, I would LOVE to again.

This past weekend, I decided to jog (notice I didn't say run) to the beach and back. It's not a bad distance. About a mile there and for all of you without a math inclination, a mile back that would equal 2 miles. Well about half of the way to the beach (once again about a half of a mile), I felt a pain in my calf. No biggie. I've worked through pain before. Suck it up, my old track coach would say. This is easy...for an 16 year old.

I got to the beach and was in agony. Dear Lord what did I do? Left right left right. Not too hard. Believe me it wasn't that the pace was too fast. An old lady passed me in one of those scooter grocery carts - driving backwards!

My calf was in pain. I thought it was just a cramp so I did the smart thing and RAN ON IT BACK HOME. Yep that me. Young and smart. Actually neither of those...

The worst part wasn't the rest of the way home or complaining to Heather and the kids. It wasn't even walking, no limping around Sea World for the day. I asked for a senior discount because I knew I wasn't going to see everything...Even a vicodin only slightly numbed the pain (Heather's a nurse so she can get all of the good stuff).

No, the worst part was about 4 days later. Everything was going fine. The leg was healing better. No more elephant man walk. Small children no longer ran from me. Then I thought I heard my evening train run a little early.

Instinct (or as Summer and Recce call it - instink) took over and I bolted after my ride home. Sweet mother of Jerimiah did I go down in a crumple. I believe I cried like a 4 year old girl when her dolly gotten stolen. It felt like someone had inflated air directly into my calf muscle. Steps were not in the future. I thought it was it. The pain was definitely incredible. I couldn't flex the leg at all. Holy crap did it hurt!

The best part about this story is that I hadn't actually heard my train at all. I have no idea what that sound was but I will curse it until my last breath.

Bring on osteoporosis old age!!!